Newspapers?
by wraithorigins
Summary: This was intended for the trilogy...but I found it too cliche. Ever wondered how advertising will work on Wraiths in Stargate Atlantis's Pegasus galaxy? They are highly intelligent aliens but that does not necessarily mean that they will understand human culture fully. Our kind don't even understand each other.


Newspapers?

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Author's note: Sigils in use for easier identification of wraiths now. Wraiths and newspapers... if SGA pegasus galaxy have humans have books and spies...maybe newspapers would be cool. Maybe I should write one with Wraiths and TV ...but naaaah they did vegas already. I found it too cliche to put this story into the trilogy.

Disclaimer: the Stargate franchise and aliens that they created are the property of MGM. This is just a fictional story made out of fun and has no profit or commercial value derived from it. The OCs are mine.

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Another meeting amongst Queens. In Queen Coldamber's Superhive Meeting room. Wraith Commanders of all the Queens were standing by. Another problem in the advancement. Unlike the last time, Queens were now accustomed to seeing each other. All were...collaborative.

Queen Coldamber flung the data tablet on the table. Snarling and hissing went to and fro with her Wraith Commanders. Her mind was shielded. So were the two Wraith Commanders beside her. They were have a private telepathic conversations. The visual interface suddenly showed the map of the systems and the long range scanners.

Two systems. Both had increased battleships around. No doubt, drones will be part of the deal. Attack either one and the other will send in reinforcements. They needed more but the worshippers could only get so much information without rousing suspicions. Newspapers, a primitive paper form of communication, were the source of most information for one planet's human population . Frustrating.

_**Does not make sense. **_Queen Coldamber clenched her feeding hand. The newspapers indicated about a hundred Lantean ships amassing in that system. Their long range sensors only detected six nearby.

_**The Lanteans are full of themselves. **_Queen RedAura interjected as she was flipping through the samples of this _newspaper_ thing. Daily exultations of how they were planning to protect the population against a growing _evil_ army of Wraiths. Evil was an unfamiliar concept. If evil refered to a Wraith's need to feed, so be it. However that makes every human and Lantean evil because they need to consume living things to survive too. Plants included.

_**They even wrote something about an insect spray in a cannister. Guaranteed to kill ..for three something in their currency. Or their currency back.**_ Queen Siren raised her ridgebrow at a page.

Queen Coldeyes was staring at a page. _**And they communicate...their mating behaviours on this page...not sure why their breeding organs are on display as well.**_

A few Wraith Commanders were trying to steal a look at the newspaper she was holding.

Most of the Queens were bored. The newspapers were a welcomed novelty in the long drawn out lives of the older Queens. The table was piled with samples of newspapers. Obtained by Queen Scourge's worshippers. For their viewing pleasure.

Origin of Fire was calmly scanning for the words 'war','defences' and 'wraith'. Her Hivemaster, Dark Waters, was at the end of the room discussing something with young Queen Scourge's Consort who was a rather experienced old Wraith. He was selected by Queen Scourge's mother. Queen Glacier's Consort, most unfortunately, was a young blade of her choosing. Not much battle experience or anything in common with the senior Wraith Commanders. Hence only politely ignored.

Queen Glacier was busy gushing through what seemed like displays of dresses for their prey. _**Oooh such pretty dresses. Can we invade but not destroy this store? I might need a new tailor worshipper.**_

Origin of Fire thought of the newspapers as an inefficient way of communicating. Flipping through pages and pages of dead processed wooden bark paper. The Lanteans and their humans were fond of using dead things. Ships dead. Drones dead. Lantean technology dead. Not very fascinating. Even their food were mostly dead.

_**Are we done with...those...things... ? Anything informative in...them?**_ Queen Coldamber picked up the paper with disdain. Some of the Queens quickly folded up their newspapers and threw it back into the pile in the middle of the table.

_**Mcshepteynon's Bug Spray. **_Queen Siren answered. _**Guaranteed to kill all bugs with a squirt. Wraiths and Iratus included. Money back guaranteed.**_ She held up the picture printed on the newspaper and pointed her manicured finger at the offensive colorful picture of a cannister.

Queen Coldamber growled and snatched the paper from Queen Sire. She examined it. _**A squirt? Must be a new weapon. Queen Scourge, send your worshipper to get samples of this...cannister. Our clevermen must examine it. **_

Queen Scourge took out a cannister from her pocket and gave it a light spray. The Queens, including Origin of Fire, jumped away from the foul smelling aerosols in alarm. Origin of Fire's Hivemaster instinctively grabbed her away.

Queen Coldamber postured dangerously in attack position. _**STUPIDITY. Are you...**_.

_**Oh relax. More money back plus ...more.**_ Queen Scourge cut her off amidst the growls and hisses. Two of her worshippers seduced the human trader selling them into following them through the Lantean gate. Mcshepteynon's Bug Spray was not even strong enough to kill her pet Iratus. Not even after she sprayed half of it on the trader.

Her pet Iratus was still fine after consumption. Even hummed to her a cycle later.

Queen Coldeyes hissed in disappointment. _**And I was hoping to test it on an annoying Secondary Queen in my faction.**_


End file.
